To celebrate Mother’s Day, Keaʻau-based artist Dandylyon Darr will be giving her mother a spa day, even though she passed away nearly 5 years ago.
When Kat Shannon passed away from endometrial cancer in August 2022, Darr and her brother decided to keep the funeral services as simple as possible.
“My mom was an old hippie, so she had a lot of things that she did not want done,” Darr said. “When we went to the funeral home, my brother and I were prepared for the possibility of employees trying to upsell us different services. I wasn’t expecting to be interested in anything other than cremation.”
But when the funeral director mentioned their mother’s remains could be solidified into stones, the siblings looked at each other in silent agreement. They chose the company, Parting Stone.
“Like I said, my mom was an old hippie and we were both tickled by the thought that she would be forever stoned,” Darr said.
Parting Stone, located in New Mexico, solidifies ashes of humans and animals. The process includes removing any impurities and then turning the ashes into a clay-like material, which is formed into stones and heated in a kiln like pottery.
Darr was able to spend the last few weeks of Shannon’s life with her in Michigan. After she passed away, she returned to her home in Keaʻau on the Big Island, where the stones were shipped about a month later.
“When my husband came home from town one day, he had a package in his hands,” Darr said. “It was incredible. When I met him outside, a rainbow appeared out of nowhere in the sky, and I knew that the package was my mom.
“It was one of those moments you never forget.”
According to the Parting Stone website, each collection of solidified remains is naturally unique. They come with different textures and colors, including chocolate brown, lavender, honey yellow or with blue speckles.
Solidified remains act and feel like smooth river stones. The material is clean and permanent, like ceramic. The stones will not dissolve in water or scratch with a fingernail.
“I have about 40 stones, and each one is different,” Darr said. “They are different sizes and are white with a greenish tint. I keep most of them in a wooden box my friend made for me, but I always keep one with me on my nightstand and when I travel.”
For Darr, having her mother’s ashes as stones has been helpful for her healing journey and has allowed her to feel close to her mom.
“I know with ashes, they are often left in a jar, bag or box in the garage, and people are afraid to handle them,” Darr said. “These stones can be moved outside or put under water, and I think my mom would be happy that she was turned into a piece of artwork.”
According to Parting Stone, these stones are similar to any rock and will outlast us on Earth.
To celebrate Mother’s Day, Darr is planning a day to rinse her mother’s stones with water and surround them with flowers from her garden.
“I like to take her outside when there is a full moon or even get cake on her birthday,” Darr said. “These little rituals sound silly, but they help me feel close to her.
“She was such a free spirit, who hitchhiked across the country and backpacked in Europe. She was an explorer, and it only makes sense that she remains the rolling stone she has always been.”
Kauaʻi Memorial Gardens is the only funeral home in Hawaiʻi that partners with Parting Stone, but anyone can send their loved one’s remains to the company for its services.
For more information, visit the Parting Stone website.
